Every individual possesses two ‘birthdays’. Each year, there are two days, at the very least, where life forces us into a theoretical corner to reflect on the lapse of time and how it affects the duration of our mortality. As we grow older, the ritual of commemorating our actual birthday often fades away and is left to the younglings. But the birth of a new year, on the other hand, is an occurrence that is far too significant to be treated with indifference. The first of January is like a rebirth… a clean slate for many, if not all.
For me, the arrival of a New Year is always tinged with melancholy.
As I reminisce the year that has gone by in a whim – a year that is now nothing but a recollection of memories, I often find myself engulfed in sadness at the thought of how rapid time seems to pass. I didn’t always feel this way. When I was younger, I couldn’t wait, and would anticipate for the arrival of a new year. It’s definitely the age – my premature mid life crisis has taken over my soul.
The good thing that comes out of this whole melancholic episode is that I have been trying to make my days count. I have been trying to accomplish all the goals that I have set for myself, be it big or small. I’m not fully there yet, but I am trying. And for the first time, I actually took my new year’s resolution seriously, and put in actual effort in trying to accomplish them. Whether I did or not is a whole different story.
It might be a little late to discuss resolutions, but hey – who’s keeping track?
These were my 2017 resolution (a more detailed version can be found on my old personal blog):
#1 Focus on what I have, instead of on what I don’t
There are no words to express how immensely grateful I am for all the things that I am blessed with. But I feel that this is a journey that does not have a halt to it, and needs to be continuously practiced and worked on. It is a battle within myself that I have to constantly fight. I have my days. We all do.
#2 Eat healthier and exercise regularly
Okay, this one is a 50/50. Although I have not been able to completely forego my love for instant noodles, I have significantly cut down my intake of it. And that goes the same for all things sugary and sweet – which was inordinately difficult because if you know me, you’d know how much of a sweet tooth I am. I have also increased my daily intake of water, and I ate more greens in the past year than the previous twenty years combined. Big achievements right there.
What caught me by surprise was how fast my body had adapted to my new eating habits. My tolerance for sugar is at an all time low, and if presented with a choice, I generally always opt for healthier food options without even realising.
As for exercising… well, I’m sure running after a toddler counts right?
#3 Learn a third language
I thought I had mastered the basics of the Japanese language, but when we visited Japan last year I had trouble keeping up with communicating with the locals. The speed that they use to converse was too fast for my brain to compute – often only able to pick up a phrase or two. Any Japanese-speaking kind hearted soul want to take me in as their student?
#4 Have more adventures
Ah, this is the one that I took most seriously. Where do I start? Cut off most of my hair, bleached it and dyed it pink, and then dyed it again green (I’ll leave this to your imagination). Enrolled myself in a sewing course – something that I have been wanting to do for the longest time. Travelled to three places that were high up in my bucket list. Had multiple spontaneous and impromptu trips with the family. Did some volunteer work. Started ‘And They Wander’. And these are just me naming a few.
#5 Cultivate and strengthen Monokerom (+ new project)
Now this was the biggest adventure of them all. If I were to describe 2017 with one word, it would be Monokerom. Last year was dedicated to growing, building, and nurturing our other baby. From sourcing new reliable networks to adding new categories to our expanding product list, and ultimately to launching our very own website. The majority of the energy within me was spent infused into every little detail of cultivating the brand. I did it in hopes of others being able to see and feel the image and message I intend to illuminate from the brand.
To say it was (still is!) challenging would be an understatement. There were endless days and nights fuelled by cold coffee, hundreds of hours spent staring into my laptop screen, the occasional mental breakdowns and creative blocks… but in the end the fierce passion in me to build something of my own that resonates well with who I am and what I stand for always pull me right back up. I’m excited and ready to see what life is gonna offer Monokerom this year.
And here are my resolutions for 2018:
#1 Take better care of my skin
Once again, this is my premature mid-life crisis talking. Up till last year, I was using the same products that I had used during my early pubescent days. The same ones as the ones my mom first bought me after I started developing spots on my forehead. The spots eventually went away so I stuck to the products for many years after that. Sometime last year however, a new concern (which had never been an issue before) had smacked me right in the face.
“If I don’t take better care of my skin, I’m going to be covered with fine lines and wrinkles in a matter of years.” Dramatic, I know.
I took the ‘epiphany’ seriously, and invested on some good skincare products. And it was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I have since adopted new steps to my previous facial wash – moisturiser skin regimen. So this year I intend to experiment more with the ultimate goal being understanding and appreciating my skin better.
#2 Give people the benefit of the doubt
Over the past few years, I’ve gone through a lot of things I wish I hadn’t need to. But after countless hours of reflecting and inconclusive ‘why me‘s, I now (kind of) understand why unpleasant things and events need to happen sometimes. Truly, the myriad of downfalls I have faced have come to be some of my biggest life lessons. During the times where I direly required moral support, people bailed. Even those who I thought would always have my back. And amid that unfortunate period of my life, I wholeheartedly appreciated those who had given me the benefit of the doubt, and enquired about my side of the story.
What you hear isn’t necessarily true, what is true isn’t necessarily what you hear. I vow to always give people the benefit of the doubt. To always ask questions, and to not blindly believe the first thing I hear.
#3 Focus more on others
While I’m a huge advocate of self love, I do believe that orienting all attention and focus solely on one’s self is somewhat selfish. So this year (while still loving myself), I am on a pursuit of redirecting my values to ones that stretch beyond serving myself. I recently read a book that says happiness comes from caring about something greater than yourself, and by believing that you are a contributing component in some much larger entity.
And I couldn’t agree more. Some questions for me (and possibly you) to think about this year – How will the world be different and better when I’m gone? What mark will I have made? What influence will I have caused?
#4 Read more books
I used to be able to finish two books within a week. Now I’m considered lucky to even finish two books within a year! But that’s all going to change this year. I just need to master the art of sneaking quality reading time in between chasing after an overzealous toddler, and fulfilling my #GirlBoss dreams. I’m already on to my third book of the year, so things are looking pretty good for resolution #4!
#5 Have more adventures
As I have mentioned in my old blogpost, this one has a permanent spot on my annual resolutions list. Bring it on, 2018.